I wish

If life was easy, it would be boring.

I wish I could man up and be honest about things. I mean, it would probably help if I knew exactly how I felt, or how to word things. I'm tired of always being hidden behind a computer screen, but I sound retarded when I try to speak out. I get nervous and stutter. I have such a weak voice, and I hate the way I sound.

I also wish I was so god damn sensitive. I cry way more than I ever want to. It's embarrassing. I absolutly hate crying in front of people. I lose all ability to form autible words or complete sentences. I sound like an idiot. I also wish people knew not to ask me if I'm okay because I just get more upset. I don't know why. Crying is one of those things that stresses me out and relieves me at the same time. I wish I could just suck it up though.

I'm ready for winter to end. I'm also ready for blink 182. And green day. And less than jake in march. And no doubt in may. I'm ready for no more bullshit snow. And being outside. And windows down. I'm ready to be happy and not bummed.

I'm ready for sleep, but I can't seem to get tired. I wish I was sedated for a little while.