Oh, medication

I really need better living habits. I almost never go to sleep before midnight, and can't even wake up to be at work for fucking noon. I don't know why it's so hard for me to wake up. I think the medication I'm on has some sort of relivence, but even when I'm not on meds, it's a fucking struggle. Maybe it's part lack-of-motivation. And maybe it's because I don't disipline myself. Who knows. I really wish I could break this habit.

In other news, the VFW is set for the first, and I'm stoked. I'm really excited about doing more shows. And the other awesome shows I'm going to in the next few months. I wish I had more time to work so I could do more with the music scene. LOL. I'm a scenester lolololol.

I'm considering moving to ware with some friends of mine. As boring as that town is, it's way closer to where I want to be. The kids who hang at the house are really cool. It would be rad to live with them.

I'm trying to get into the habit of reading more. I'm dyslexic, but I think it would really help if I read more. I'm borrowing Gandhi's autobiography from my grandparents right now. I'm going to try to read a little bit of it everyday. I have a ton of books, I just never end up reading them, or finishing them, and I think it's time that I did. Though I did finish hairstyles of the damned in about two days flat. I wish books were more exciting to me. Maybe the inability to read well and being easily distracted has something to do with it. Haha.

I'd have to say winter is my least favorite season. Snow and ice do me no good (unless of course I'm skiing, sledding or ice skating, but it's rare). I drive too much too enjoy snow. My blood is also way too thin for cold weather. I wish I could find joy in winter. I try to look on the bright side of things, but most days are too gloomy to stay positive. I'm a sunshine kind of girl. After all, I was born in the middle of august. I just need to live in a warmer state. Sometimes I feel obligated to live in massachusetts.

I love mass though. Western mass may suck, but eastern and central mass are pretty fucking cool. So much good music has come out of new England. So many of my favorite bands were formed in the area, and I'm really glad to live near places that have good shows. I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life, and I honestly think I just want to open a venue. A place for bands to play, a place for people to hang out at. That's what we need. Kids fuck themselves over because they get bored and do stupid shit. I would have a bar too. I mean, my uncle was very successful in the bar operating business. I just don't see myself doing anything else (happily at least). To me, life is about making the best out of shitty things, and trying to be as happy as possible. I guess I better start saving.

I need some sleep.